Happy New Year and some resolutions

I had a terrible 2014. After my last post, I was laid off, moved to Saskatoon, got a new job, had my heart broken, my brother got cancer (he is thankfully better now), my sister moved back to Saskatchewan, then moved back to California, and I was pretty much financially ruined.

BUT … I am looking to put it all behind me and make 2015 a better year.

I rarely make New Year Resolutions, but this year I am. And here they are:

1) Read more.
Part of this resolution is the attempt to read one book a week. I realize that sometimes, I won’t read one book a week, and sometimes I may read more than one book a week. We’ll see how this goes. To make it easier on myself, I plan on re-reading a few of my favourite books. Revisiting a few old friends, so to speak.

2) Blog more.
To help with the first resolution, I plan to track my progress via this blog. Also may as well make use of this space.

3) Work on my posture.
I have terrible posture. I work on computers all day. I also notice that my self confidence over the past year has really plummeted and I think this might help a bit with that.

4) Play more boardgames.
Over the past year, I’ve really started playing a lot of silly Facebook games and I’ve noticed a correlation with my self-esteem. I don’t feel good about myself. A lot of my unhappy intrusive thoughts pop up when I play them. Not to say the games themselves are bad, it just seems my mind wanders because I don’t have to think too hard when I play them. Also, playing boardgames means I will have to interact with other people, therefore I will be forced to get out of my little headspace.

So yes, all of these little resolutions are an attempt to lift my spirits a bit. To work on my self-esteem and depression, which really took a hit over the last year. While I really love my new job and co-workers, and my kids are happy and healthy, I am not. I’m afraid if I continue on, that won’t be the case for much longer. *sigh* I realize I’m being very candid here, but I suppose if I can’t be on my own blog, where else can I be?

So yes, this is one of those “New year, new me” crappy resolutions. Bleh. But I honestly want to be happy again.

My first book, if anyone is interested, is by Allie Brosh. It’s called “Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened”. I got it as a Christmas present from one of my sisters, and I love it. She takes a few stories from her blog, and there are a few original stories as well. There are two very insightful chapters about depression. You can actually check out my favourite one here. I highly recommend the whole book as it had me laughing out loud and reading excerpts out to my kids, and crying quietly in relief knowing that someone understands. 5 stars.